Motherhood has been very odd for me. If I am honest, there have been times that where I have looked at my ideal parenting and been disappointed at my current lack of skill. Comparison truly kills. I am not one to verbalize comparison. But, again, this is a transparent series. I have compared the way my son smiles when I walk into a room with his dad. I have also compared how one mother manages frustration against me, and here’s the big one, I compare how the mother who has a home, husband, and cars to be lugging a car seat on my hand alone during the morning hutching over into my small compact Honda Civic.
However, the grass is not greener on the other side. I know it because I consider the nights that these women may feel like they get no help from their spouse, how the house is completely loud, yet they feel all alone. The children are as happy as they can be, but the parents are thinking about separating, money is low, everybody is scraping for food, etc. We all have our issues, and we bear them all differently.
Since this is my diary, and I am talking to you, however, this is for me too! So, we are going to discover some scriptures for these moments of comparison.
2 Corinthians 10:12, ESV, "Not that we dare classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding."
Here are some questions.
Do we lack understanding when we compare ourselves?
When do we question ourselves?
Understanding is going to be the cause of us dismantling comparison. But, that’s not all, let’s look a little further.
Galatians 1:10, ESV, "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."
Everything boils down to this very scripture. Am I basing my assessments on man’s approval or God’s approval? Honestly, man’s approval has been a huge attraction for me. If people were pleased with how I raise my son, date, or parent, I’d be okay. But, I have to remember daily that God’s approval is what makes me feel the best. His approval has to overrule any opinion.
Until we learn how to make his approval be our only source of validation, we will continue to suffer comparison.