So, as many of you may already know, I had to take a break from writing for a while. I was pregnant with a little bundle of joy, yet, I was not feeling too jolly about it. On many days, I pondered over what you would think of me because I am a Christian blogger who is pregnant and single, pretty hypocritical, right? While many people reminded me that grace was enough for me, I did not believe them. I thought I had to do something magical to win everybody over. I wanted to be perfect, you know, just like Jesus, and I was ashamed that I was not perfect like him.
At 23, not only was I now a young mother, but I found myself battling with feeling like a statistic. I felt like somebody would use me in a sentence describing the family member at the cookout who fell off while saying to the younger ones, “Do not end up like her.”
Here is where this testimony takes a shift thought. I felt much shame for my decisions, and yet, God was very merciful. He sent minister after minister to me. The Lord held me by my hand on too many nights to even try to count. He sent me dreams in the middle of the night, and new friends to pay attention to my heart and not my circumstances. He completely blew my mind! And as all of this was happening, I thought to myself, "How could a God who sees all of this mess that I’ve created still love me like this?"
While taking this time away from writing, I was still working. I worked on how to be more transparent and honest about my struggles. Not just as a millennial, but as a mother, friend, mentor, singer, writer, author, podcaster, and much more. How could I do all of this? This was what would run through my mind as the days went by!
Many people told me that, because I was having my son, I would run slower and most of my time would be gone. My first thought was, “Well, there go all of my dreams.” However, I quickly rejected this thought and said, “Well, how can I change that narrative? How can I tell other mothers that you can work a full-time job, run a side business, be a good friend, mentor students, write a book, and still spend time with the kids, bathe and feed them, and get them to bed on time?"
I first had to make this a reality for myself. This expectation made me go through the pain and feel the burdens of mothers across the world. I felt like, in a matter of 12 months, nine were spent pregnant, and the three that God has been here, he has made me feel the weight just so that I can talk about it.
These are some of the weights that I carried for you.
Baby crying and being alone without any help
Depressed and not being able to explain why
Having many questions
Trying to run a business
Not having time to shower or take a bath
Desiring love and not being able to get over it
Lack of drive
Needing a lot of support and feeling guilty about it
Being constantly tired
No real friends
Constantly crying for reasons that are out of your control
Lack of peace
Lack of sleep
Being cheated on
I have carried these weights not only for my breakthrough but for yours too. I carried these with a frown, but sometimes with a smile. A large number of folks would say, “Don't let them see you frown, cry, or look down,” but little did they know that depression will have you down to the point where there is no faking it.
So, yes, I have endured these things just to come back with a greater punch! To prove to the Devil that I am ready for war. He might have given me a black eye in one season, but oh, now that I am healed, and there is no telling me what he will do! This time, God is in control, and I am ready to face any battle. And the same thing applies to you! Maybe the last season was very hard? Perhaps you feel like you got hit so hard that you lost yourself? No worries, but make sure to remember who you are and whose you are!
This new launch will be full of blog posts that will be transparent and transitional. And this time, I am no longer afraid of the story or the voices. I am finished with feeling ashamed of the outcome and holding back because of fear. And together, we will embrace our transitions with transparency, so stay tuned for more content on how I made it through, but most of all, stay tuned because you will too! ☺
I am excited to announce that I have now officially expanded my blog to a fully functioning business! Now, you may be asking, "What do you mean by this?"
Well, I am going to be tackling new things.
Offering services such as mentoring.
Creating some online writing challenges.
Doing fun giveaways to engage with you.
Offering more video content on YouTube.
Retailing apparel for you to rep your transitions well.
Hosting webinars, courses, and live events.
And lastly, I have formed a private Facebook group as a safe place for transition talk.
Your second question may be, "Okay, but how can I benefit from this?" Well, I am glad you asked.
You will benefit by putting your life back on the potter’s wheel.
You will see that you are not the only one whose transition has brought about feelings of nakedness and loneliness.
You will feel a sense of community and an enormous amount of love.
You will embrace who you are!
"And how can I share this with others?"
Make sure to encourage your family and friends who are seriously struggling and in need of a safe place to talk about their new life transitions by directing them to our family:
Facebook Group: Transparency and Transitions
Follow us on Instagram: @capricouturecreations @gracedforit_
I am excited about being transparent with you, and like always, keep Creating Creators!