My Window Wipers Broke!
Updated: Mar 31
What a funny title, right?!
One must know the so-called 'lesson of a downpour.' A man, caught in a sudden rain en route, dashes along the road not to get wet or drenched. Once one takes it for granted that in rain he naturally gets wet, he can be in a tranquil frame of mind even when soaked to the skin. This lesson applies to everything. - Yamamoto Tsunetomo
One day, I'm getting up for work. It's about 6:00 AM. I was extremely stressed out with everything going on; a breakup, family issues, church responsibilities, and financial difficulties. I had responsibility at church, and I was just not ready for the day I was about to have. I remember thinking to pray, and then a thought came to my mind. "Why pray when God sees all of this already? He doesn't care about any of this." That made me cry until about 7:15 AM.
I sobbed, getting dressed and putting one arm in my shirt. Frustrated, I screamed, "This stupid shirt doesn't fit!" This frustration turned into me being very irritated at gaining weight and not being able to fit in my clothes. I didn't feel like getting dressed to look cute, but I was just over it. So, I slipped on a dress and put some random shoes on. I walked outside to go to my car, and it's raining.
Oh goodie! Now it's raining so you know I am not more pissed than I was before. I get in my car and drive off in silence. It began to pour down on I-695. And boom, the window wiper breaks!
Oh, if this day couldn't get any worse. I called my mother crying as I pulled over at Dunkin donuts. I looked at the wiper and tried to put it on while I'm getting soaking wet outside. I found a way to secure it for the time being then I get back into the car.
Are you serious?! The gaslight comes on.
Here's the plot twist. Instead of going off even more than I was, I fought that voice in my head that said it was unnecessary to pray earlier in the morning, and this was my prayer.
"Lord, this has been a crazy week. I don't feel like I've done anything to deserve it either. I've done nothing but pray for your people. I've done everything you told me to do. I can't imagine living without your presence in my life, and I feel like you have abandoned me. I am on the side of the road sobbing because not only do I have no money for gas or lunch today, but my window wipers are broken. And I have to go to this office today and pretend that I'm just this pillar of faith?! How? And this doesn't make sense, and I don't see how this is a necessary part of my life. I don't see why I need to go through this to encourage others or to be inspiring. I don't want to do this. Please help me, Amen"