Imagine being in a room surrounded by doors, where some are opened, and others are closed. The doors that are cracked have chipped paint, and their broken locks represent the past. The rest of the doors are brand new, with high-tech locks and keypads. Now, let's throw in a doggie door. Then, you are walking to the new door, excited, filled with anticipation, and you feel worried but not enough to make you turn around. Then, you turn the knob and open the door, but then God calls out to you, and he wants you to go back to the old doors.
There are some rooms that he wants you to go back to, but he also wants you to go through an old door again. You hesitate because there is a flashback of pain, resentment, brokenness, shame, guilt. Then, you think, "God, why would you want me to go back to that?" And you try to open the new door but realize that you do not have the key. So, you try to pry it open with everything that you can think of: a bobby pin, butter knife, etc. And nothing works. You feel frustrated, so you sit and wallow in it. That is what happens when we try to move on without God. I am sitting in this seat currently, and am waiting for some things God has promised me, but don't see it. There is not a single sign of change, shift, etc. And it's just not happening. So, I tried to pry open new doors, but God would not give me the key because he had not shut the old door, where all my pain resides.
In moments like this, we have to understand that he has not shut that door completely because we have to go back inside and conquer those things. By this I mean, that we need to take responsibility for the pain, resentment, shame, lies, and guilt, and tear down that stronghold instead of running it. There is also something behind the old door that God is renewing and restoring so that he can give it to you in his timing the way that he intended. We serve an intentional God, whose words will not fail or return to him void. Whatever he says will remain forever. I know it is not easy trusting, and it is even scarier to have to go back to battle things that almost killed you. But it is for the making of a kingdom warrior who can stand on the frontline for others.
A friend told me a few weeks ago not to completely shut the door, but to leave it cracked. I encourage you to do the same because God has something amazing behind that old door.